Ungrateful Swine

This time of year brings about many different emotions. Some of you may be wondering, 'why ungrateful swine?' Well, in all honesty, I feel as though I have seen more ungrateful people in the past month than I have people who are actually thankful and grateful for what they have been given or for what people have done/are doing for them. It's amazing...this time of year...and people go bananas...we lose sight of the kind of heart and mindset we should have.

Upon looking up the word "ungrateful" in the dictionary, the definition found is: unappreciative; not displaying gratitude; not giving due return or recompense for benefits conferred.

I dare you the next time that you go into a store to pay attention to what little children are talking about...what they're asking for...what they're crying about. Then I dare you to hear what teenagers are saying and demanding. Then I dare you to look at what middle aged people are buying and saying...then take a good look at yourself...what would people say about your attitude if they heard you in a store?

I'm not going to lie...I am ungrateful. It's something that I have to remind myself daily...to be grateful for what I have...to not always be wanting something more...to not complain that what I have isn't "good enough"... that I "need" something else.

I don't say this to lay on a guilt trip at all...it's something that I've been observing for the past couple of months and really felt compelled to share.

Forgive me Lord if I seem ungrateful...for what I have...for what I'm given...and for people in my life...

Ew...really?!

For my one reader...

The white tundra, which is known as Maine...the great white north...which is my town...gets an insane amount of snow each year. This I somewhat missed last year, but the more colder that it gets and the more thoughts of "snow days" for school that come, I realize more and more how much I miss NZ.

That's beside the point...this story may leave you pondering, "hmm...what do I intake in a day?"

I barely passed my car inspection because of my tires. They basically had zero tred left on them...and me being so cheap, I put off getting them...until last week. With snow falling beautifully, it lands on the road and makes it so slippery! When I fishtailed last week, I decided it was time to just deal, shell out the money, and get some safety tires on my car.

This garage doesn't take appointments...it's a first come, first serve business. I arrive around 10am, left my cell at home, left my knitting at home, AND left my book at home. I had nothing, so I was just praying that it wouldn't take too long to put four new tires on my red bullet.

I walk in, check in, ask how long it will be... "Oh, about two hours." Great. Neat. Just what I wanted to do on my Friday. I reluctantly said "okay, I'll just wait" and walked to the "waiting room" which had six chairs, and automotive magazines...how did they know I love those?!

I sit down, look at the lady across from me who was all bundled up and had a crotchity look on her face...she was clearly not impressed with her waiting time. I picked up an Antique magazine, read a week old newspaper (so hopefully nothing changed), and read the winter events for Aroostook County in a little pamphlet.

I saw man after man come in, grab coffee, wait in line, leave, come back and do the same thing over again. The lady across from me was clearly getting hungry because she grabbed a quarter from her pocket and placed it into one of the most disgusting things ever... a candy dispenser machine.

The choice was either peanut m & m's or cashews. There were barely any left in either container and the stains inside each dispenser were enough to make my stomach churn like butter. It got me wondering....how many people touch those EVERY day...and how OLD are the "select items" in each one.

"Miracles" according to Reader's Digest...

I was reading this the other day and found these to be too interesting not to share...It's taken from this Christmas edition of Reader's Digest.

Some readers share the miracles in their own lives...

"The sunrise my father and I watched standing at the top of one of the Smoky Mountains."
"Our son fell 40 feet off his barn roof onto cement and didn't break any bones."
"All the factors that came together to help me find the daughter I had given up for adoption."

"A bumblebee flying."

"My husband getting out of the Pentagon on 9/11."
"During a serious kidney stone attack at age 37, I went into a coma and saw a light at the end of the tunnel. I regained consciousness and lived. I am now 88 years old."
"Some would say that my actually getting married was a miracle." (burn)

"The days are filled with miracles: a flower blooming, my heart beating, the purr of a cat, the Internet." (interesting progression there)

"I feel that someone turning his life around for the better is a miracle."

"Love for the unlovable."

"Forgiveness."

"Being able to have enough income to share with others less fortunate."

"Hearts changed."

Amen.

OK for no SK...

Approximately four weeks from now, I was meant to be leaving to teach English in Suwon, South Korea. However, with the help of following God's leading, listening to my heart, and trying to better myself before I can give 100%...I am post-poning South Korea for a few months...

My intentions for going were not pure...and though I write that with remorse, I'm thankful that I've noticed that in myself...and I am trying to correct that before I venture off overseas again. I don't want to go somewhere if God isn't at the forefront of it all...and at this time, He wasn't with me going to South Korea. I was going for different reasons...which weren't necessarily Godly.

I don't say that to receive praise or to raise a fuss, but I wanted people who read this, to be let in on things that others may not hear about for a while. My family is being really supportive and I believe this is where God wants me for now...to straighten my heart out with why I really want to go...

I am still substitute teaching, working at an after school program, and volunteering at two youth groups...and I love doing all of these things. I was working at the after school program today and had a nice little chat with a fourth grader named "Bella." I asked her if she knew and Edwards...and she just laughed at me...and then we played with glitter. I'm having fun blessing these kids and seeing them laugh.

God has a plan and I'm thankful that I don't need to know what He has for me in the future...as long as I'm living for Him in the now...and that's A-OK with me.

are we there yet?

I wouldn't say that I'm the type of person who thrives on making decisions...in fact, when I go into the movie rental store, it can take me forever to make a decision as to what I'd like to watch...and to avoid making just one decision, I'll walk out of there with several choices. Another example, I have three shirts that are the exact same, just different colors...I couldn't decide on just one color...so I took three...ridiculous.

I hate decisions...and those examples are minor...obviously, so one can only imagine what goes through my head when I have to make a life decision...it doesn't come easy, that's for sure. I generally go back and forth about what I'm going to do and whether it's right for me, if it's where God wants me to go/do, how will I bless others through it...could I be used more effectively elsewhere?

Another question that comes into my mind often is, "Am I running from something? Am I running away?"

I've been doing a TON of thinking/crying/praying/pondering the past week or so about the next thing in my life. If I've made the decision that God wanted me to make or if I've avoided what God wants me to do because I'm being selfish. I'm so confused on this one...

I guess for once in my life...I feel really scared...taking a leap of faith...or staying where I know that I'm being effective. I realize that stepping into the unknown is always frightening,but should I really be this torn up about something...or is this God saying "Welp,maybe this isn't right...maybe not that it isn't 'right,' but maybe more like it's just not 'right now'"

Anytime that I was sick, my parents would give me a coloring book and crayons to help cheer me up...I had a hard time making a decision as to what color I would use on Ariel's tail or Belle's ballgown...and here I am...twenty years later, just wishing I could have that crayon and color in what's next for me.

Maybe this is just a rough patch of doubt...or maybe it's God. How does one know for sure...

Decisions come and decisions go...for now, I don't know which is the right one for God and my relationship...and where I'll be more effective...and where I'll be able to give more for His Name...I don't want to be selfish at all.

Gah.

L.O.V.E.

I recently googled the word "love" and it came up with 240,000,000 results in .15 seconds. How come it's so easy to find online, but not so easy to find in real life? It's so easy for us to love things that last a minute, while we have a harder time loving people who could last a lifetime.

I find myself struggling with the same thing at times, but lately I've been putting my heart in check with just how I am to love...and better yet,how I am supposed to show that love to others. Love can come in many forms...for some it's a hug, while for others it's in a smile. Some it's at first sight, while others never find it.

How dare I ever take this forgranted...how dare I ever think that I have it so rough...how dare I become complacent about my life...the life that so many people have impacted...and that impact comes from them loving me...and me letting them love me. If someone is a good friend of mine,then they easily get a piece of my heart.

I can remember the first time that my heart was broken. I never thought that it would get repaired...but I learned a hard lesson...which seems easy,but it wasn't at the time...If I'm looking to man for love, then I'll be searching my whole life for a love that is meaningless,but if I turn to God...which is the ultimate love...then I will have it not just for a moment,but for the maximum time...which is eternity.

Something that has boggled my mind and probably always will, is how parents cannot find it in them to love their children. I,thankfully, do not deal with this. I have two loving parents who have always provided for me, encouraged me, and voiced how proud they are of me with my life decisions and my character. They helped to shape who I am...and it kills me that others aren't as fortunate as me. Why was I dealt such a card while others receive the "joker" because they don't have loving parents.

One of my best friends doesn't receive the kind of love that he deserves...the kind of love that he needs from a parent...from his dad...from his mom. I see this very clearly...and it breaks my heart. Someone that I care so much about...and he isn't treated nearly as well as he should be. It makes me angry...makes me clean (because I clean when I'm really mad)...and makes me pray harder than I've ever prayed.

I'm praying for God to intervene in his life in a huge way...to put people in his path that will love him unconditionally. That God will take off the blindfolds that have been placed over my friend's mother's eyes so that she can see the true gift that her son is, not only to her,but to any person that he comes in contact with.

Will you please join me in this prayer...and for those who don't have loving parents. We were born to love. Christ loved. God loved us enough to send His Son...so why, can't we in return love our "sons?"

Post Your Secret...

Have you ever had a secret? You wanted to tell someone...but you were so scared of what they would say or think...but you had to get it out? Frank Warren decided to give people that outlet that they were craving by inventing "Post Secret" where that's literally what you do. You write your secret on a postcard and mail it in anonymously to PostSecret, where it could end up in one of their many books, or on their blog that they update each week.

The simple concept of the project was that completely anonymous people decorate a postcard and portray a secret that they had never previously revealed. No restrictions are made on the content of the secret; only that it must be completely truthful and must never have been spoken before.

I started reading the blog two years ago, and I've read through two of their books. They have had over 2,500 postcards sent in to them. I don't know what it is, but seeing what people struggle with and the semi freedom that they must feel when they post their secret and in a sense "let it out" gives me courage as well as insight. It impresses on me the need for love in our world...and for forgiveness...and the importance of being honest with each other. It also fills me in on what type of things people struggle with...and we may never ever know that they do...It honestly breaks my heart.

We each have a secret...one that we deal with...maybe it's bigger than some, or maybe we haven't let things go that we dealt with years ago. It may be one that has never been spoken. The Bible says to confess our sins to one another...and perhaps we could put our secrets on the back of a postcard that we've decorated and send it in...so that when other people read it, it can encourage them...or break their hearts...

Some of the things that people write...wow.

http://www.postsecret.blogspot.com/

Some of the images can be graphic...

Jesus calls us to love people...despite what they have/have not done...so read some of these secrets...and go out and love people because you never know what they're going through.